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I must admit it, I enjoy Martha Stewart. You have to admire a person who wants us all to do better, to look better, and to clean up our domestic messes. At a time when dressing for church means putting on a pair of shorts, tank top, and rubber flip flops, it is comforting to know there is someone out there, firm in her convictions that everyone here in America would be better if we all did a few clever things with eucalyptus leaves. I do realize, however, as a woman who habitually takes her glasses off before entering her bathroom, I have no business reading Martha Stewart's Living magazine. Yet, I am a curious person and I like to know what people who have taste, money, and major chunks of time are able to do with their lives and homes.
There is an article in Living I particularly like. It is about Martha Stewart's idea of the perfect guest room. In the article, she extols the virtues of having a room so thoughtfully decorated that it will woo your overnight visitor with promises of luxurious comfort found only in the finest hotels. Besides being luxurious, Stewart believes a guest room should be equipped with those personal touches designed to whisper to your guest, "You are important to me, please come again!" I am acutely aware that people do take the "message" a guest room sends seriously. My mother, for instance, took my brother and sister-in-law's purchase of a futon quite seriously. Recuperation after her last visit with them required only time, heating pads, and a few visits to the chiropractor. She tearfully told me, "I simply will not go back; not until they get rid of that FUTON."
Preparing my guest room begins by the forcible eviction of my six-year-old son from his bedroom. It ends by my praying that the guest never drop anything on the floor near the bed necessitating a glimpse at Simon's 'storage system.' In the spirit of thoughtfulness advocated by Martha Stewart, I have prepared the following table outlining the things a future visitor will find in the guest room in our house. In Martha Stewart's Guest Room Finest, 300 thread count sheets, sun-dried
On the bedside table, a Waterford crystal decanter filled with distilled water next to matching lead crystal tumbler
Latest selection of books from NY Times best seller list, selected with guest's personal taste in mind
Empty closet filled with padded silk hangers
Foil-wrapped piece of Belgian chocolate left on antique lace pillow
In Heather's Guest Room No-iron percale, Barney motif
On the floor next to bed, red Tupperware cup with sticky residue on bottom
Complete set of Little Golden and Berenstain Bears Books
Closet filled with 10 years worth of unsorted, hand-me-down children's clothes
Slightly crushed Froot Loops on large stuffed bear son uses as pillow
As a quality control measure, Stewart advises that the hostess spend a night in her own guest room in order to make the room even a tad more comfortable or to discover any potential problem. NO WAY!!!
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