Non-Traditional Student
In every paper written for my graduate courses in English, I used the following words:
synecdoche, metonymy, and eponymous. I used these words even though they impeded the
clarity of my work, sounded pretentious, and caused me to reroute entirely the carefully worked
out arguments in support of my thesis statements. At some point during every semester, I would
also casually mention how something the professor said reminded me of Werner Heisenberg's
Uncertainty Theory or wave/particle duality. The momentary sweat of being asked to elaborate
further never turned into a full-blown embarrassing moment because the professor always looked
delighted, quickly agreed, and moved on. I always used Heisenberg's full name and looked
pious.
Now that I have finished my graduate work, I am trying to figure out ways to mention Ludwig
Wittgenstein in regular conversation. I have never let gross ignorance or etiquette stand in my
way before, so I imagine I'll be soon springing on the unsuspecting, cryptic allusions to Tractatus and his Norwegian period.
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